Freshman year of college is one of the biggest transitions of your life - and may well be the hardest. I've compiled a list of 10 things I wish I knew or that someone had told me about going in, so here goes!
1. I already said this, but it's kind of rough. I remember always hearing how awesome college was and having all this anticipation built up - but the first couple weeks were a real adjustment to say the least. If you're an idealist like me, you might have trouble comparing what you expected with reality.
2. You don't have to find your best friends right away. People who do that are insecure and will end up unhappy. Looking back, I got to know A LOT of DIFFERENT people. I made several really good friends over time, but I really tried to get to know as many different people as I could. It's interesting moving away from a place you've known your whole life.. because up until college for me I already knew all the "groups" and I knew who I wanted to associate with and who I didn't. But at college, I didn't. So I had to really get to know people and what they were about before I decided whether I wanted to spend any time on them. I saw people who stuck with whoever they initially met and ended up like cycling through a list of "new best friends" like it was 6th grade recess. I'd ask "oh what happened to so-and-so?" and they'd be like "we don't talk anymore." You can be more mature than that (;
3. Get involved, but don't overcommit. Easier said than done, right? You don't want to be bored out of your mind and you don't want to not have any free time. I'd say take it easy at first because you never know how much homework your classes will give or what will come up. Don't be afraid to try something and drop out either. I went to a few club meetings once and never went again... and I'm glad. I handled a job well, second semester I even worked 4 days a week (2.5 hours a day). It's interesting at college - it's like you're either out of your mind busy or you have nothing to do, but you'll get better with time management and balancing activities. Seriously, that's like the main lesson of college.
4. Don't go home every weekend. You'll miss out on sooo much! College life HAPPENS on the weekends. Going home is fine every so often, it's necessary even! But don't be one of those people who goes home constantly, you'll never adjust properly.
5. Realize that all of the freshman are going through the same thing. Of course I knew that, but it was the weirdest feeling throughout welcome weekend, I felt like everyone was watching me. In one of my psych classes I learned about this thing called "imaginary audience", it's a coping mechanism that your mind uses when you're in a stressful or particularly a new situation. I totally had that. So it'd be good to take a step back when you're in that initial stage and realize everyone's as nervous as you.
6. Get with you're old friends when you're home on breaks and stuff. There's something therapeutic for the soul to be with those who know you deeply after being with acquaintances you're getting to know for so long.
7. Make upperclassmen friends. Maybe even set up a weekly time to meet? Looking back, that's one of the things I enjoyed most: my weekly coffee dates with two different sophomores from my hall. Make sure they're trustworthy and genuine, but after you find someone who wants to earnestly invest in you, you're set. It was a breath of fresh air to meet with them and pick their brains, rant about experiences, and just do life with someone who's been there. It didn't become consistent until second semester though, so don't feel rushed to find an older buddy. (And of course keep in mind that when you're an upperclassmen you should pay-it-forward. I know I will!)
8. Go to campus-wide events. Sometimes they're lame; sometimes they're not. I went to some that were not so great and then I missed some that I regretted missing! Find a group of friends to go with and you all can meet new people as well as deepen your friendships amongst your group.
9. Expect a lot of personal growth. When you're going through everything, it's so crazy and sometimes hard. But looking back, you see that you grow so much. I've become so much more aware of others and how I affect things. Haha, that sounds kind of dumb, but it's sooo true. You really do learn a lot of about yourself. I hate that phrase, it's so overused. So I guess more specifically, you learn how you deal and what you want. You experience people - the many, many different kinds of people. So much of what you learn isn't through books or about your major or anything; it's just life. On your own.
10. Live in the moment. Being college-aged, you're living through one of the most uncertain times of your life. It's easy to over-reminisce or worry about what's ahead of you. Try to trust God with your past and future as best as you can and just enjoy being in the now.
So, there you have it. Maybe not all of my advice will apply to you, but I've been working on this blog for quite a while and I hope you gathered something from it! And seriously, if any of you every need anyone to talk to, I'd be happy to listen.
Love you all and have a GREAT first year of college,
Danielle :)
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