trust issues

So, I have some trust issues.

And I'm not talking about "daddy issues" or "broken heart syndrome". Although I've had my fair share of those. I'm talking about having trust issues with Him. Last sunday's sermon at Awake really hit home for me, and not only just my struggle in general, but what I've been struggling with recently. Right now in my life. So, as the time for graduation nears, things just keep getting harder and harder. And I don't doubt that they'll continue to increase in difficulty as I enter this wonderful world of adulthood.. But anyways, I know there are some things that will be alleviated once I hit to road jack and get off to college! (Which I am super ready for. And I'm trying to mindfully remember that it won't fix everything. I'm not trying to set my expectations in the sky for college, but I'm still ready for change! And to get out! To be done with high school!) But until then, I've got this. Two months. 48 days not counting spring break, but counting weekends. I know, my countdown is kind of screwy, haha. But, these two months, if they're as troublesome and challenging as the last one, I'm in for quite the ride before I'll receive some relief. And this last month, I've just been stressed. Busy. Stretched. Haha, a quote from Lord of the Rings was running through my mind a lot "I feel thin.. like butter stretched over too much bread." - Bilbo. And I do! It's been rough, I'm not going to undermine my feelings. But, I was reminded this sunday, that I've got to trust Jesus! And wow, that sounds soo elementary, but I reflected over this past month of trials and really thought about who's hands my life was in, it wasn't good. Not Jesus' hands. Mine. I've dealt with everything. I've felt the pressure. I've been overwhelmed. My trust was in myself! How conceited.

For small group, we're reading the book Crazy Love, right? And it followed right along with this lesson about trust.

"Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed."

Jeeze, right? What a challenge and eye opener. Being stressed is a sin basically. Because being stressed is saying that God isn't enough for me, and calling God something He isn't, it's a sin. It's disrespectful. It's dirtying His name.

I mean, I've never really thought about it like that. I thought that as long as I was busy with stuff that was church-related or something, that it was justified. I just need to take a deep breath, love through it, push through the rest of this year, lead by example til the end, and give all my feelings to God. Because everything is His in the first place, right? It's so funny how simple lessons that we learn in sunday school develop into these much bigger concepts and dig much deeper into our lives. Trust Jesus and nothing else. Sounds simple, but it's not. And that's when I've got to trust that He'll help me with that trust :)