To the first-year teacher,
Hey you. How are you doing? Wait, don't answer that. I don't want you to burst into tears. I was there last year. When people asked me how I was doing, I would normally force and smile and say something acceptable. Then when they got specific like "How's the job going?" or "How's your first year teaching?" or "Do you like teaching?" then it would get harder to remain acceptable. I tend to be a pretty open book, so I would say something still acceptable yet honest like: "It's going well. It's hard though." or "It's going." or "It's good and challenging and everything in between." or "Yes, I think I like it." And then when people would press me for the hard details, that's when it really got hard to respond. It's hard to explain. And to be honest, no one is really going to understand you except a teacher themselves. And actually, if it's been a while since their first year they probably aren't going to be so sympathetic and empathetic as you need them to be right now because either 1. They've forgotten or 2. They're a pompous a-hole teacher now.
This year is going to suck. It's going to have moments of greatness, yes. But if your first year is going anything like mine went last year, it's going to suck. But you know what? You'll make it. And here are some truths I want you to hold on to as you face this uphill battle.
1. You'll make it. I already said this up there, but it's worth saying again. There's probably a pile of grading on your desk so large that even you don't know what lies at the bottom. You haven't seen your desk top in weeks. You have some classes that make you want to pull your hair out. You have some students that were born without a conscious. All the teachers around you seem to have it together. There are endless meetings and emails to answer and let's not even talk about lesson planning. You don't know what you're doing tomorrow not to mention the rest of the week. Teaching isn't like any other job in that way... like, if you don't finish what you need to, you're going to have 150 students in your room tomorrow without an agenda. It's ridiculously busy. It seems endless. Sometimes it'll seem hopeless. You probably won't see the light at the end of the tunnel until after Spring Break. But, you'll make it. It will end. I promise. The last day of school is coming, it will come, and this summer will be the most glorious era.
2. You're going to screw up. A lot. And that's okay. So that's not really a profound statement, and you've probably been told that before about your first year, but what I really struggled with last year is where to sit emotionally/mentally with that. I would either beat myself up over what I screwed up with or I would ignore it and pretend it didn't exist. Then I would feel so conflicted about how I was handling my thoughts and overthinking of my mistakes that I would overwhelm myself even more. Looking back, it doesn't matter. I'm grateful for my desire to do well and I'm grateful that I can pick myself up and move on. Both thought processes are okay and good for you. Identify weaknesses, but don't dwell on them too much. You need perseverance and conscientiousness to be a good teacher. Start practicing both.
3. You probably won't have much of a life this year. But you've already figured that out, right? All your friends think that you've lost your phone or something because you literally don't have time in your week to respond to their "What's up?" text. Being so exhausted Friday night that you just go home and go to bed instead of out to have fun. Then not having time the rest of the weekend because you're so swamped with grading/lesson planning. It sucks, but it's something that will pass too. You'll have a lot more time next year because you'll have more experience so you won't have as much to do/you'll be able to do all that you have to do quicker. Still try to take as much time for yourself as possible. Don't burn out in one year. You might feel burnt out, but I wouldn't actually define yourself as literally "burnt out" unless you give up. If you don't have to do it for tomorrow, don't do it.
4. Ask for help. Last year, after my friends took me out to dinner for my birthday party they asked me what I wanted to do next, and I was honest with them. I asked them to help me grade tests. They did. I got about what would have been 8 hours of work for just me 2 hours with 4 people helping me. It was the best birthday present I could've received last year. Talk to co-workers who will uplift you and not judge you. I'm a very expressive person and I need to talk things out with people who understand. I know for me, I wouldn't have been half as mentally-healthy as I was if I hadn't had some great, wise coworkers who would listen to me, tell me that I was doing okay, and offer sage advice.
5. If you're a first-year teacher fresh out of college, then you're probably only a few years older than most of your students. And if you're anything like me that is going to be the most awkward and freaky thing for you like... ever. It was sooo weird to think that 4 years ago that was me: I was them. But now, I'm on the other side. College is a long time. I forgot everything I felt when I was a student about being in a classroom. I remember thinking all these things like: oh, I'm never going to do that when I'm a teacher / oh I'm going to do this / etc. But as a teacher last year I didn't remember any of it. It is so different and terrifying to be on the other side. You look like a student, you feel like a student, you want to laugh at what students laugh at... but you're a teacher. Last year I separated myself from them as much as possible. I'm grateful for that and proud of my behavior looking back on it. I just know too many young teachers who have gotten into messes for trying to be friends with their students instead of their teacher. I wasn't perfect, but I remember feeling really guilty for not really having an amazing, mentor relationship with anyone. This year is totally different. It's easier to build good rapport with them yet still maintain their respect. The whole relational part of teaching is something that I've been told by veteran teachers is still a struggle for them. I don't really have any good concrete advice here, I'll just say: do your best, be careful, and this will get better.
6. I guess my final piece of advice is: never give up. If God has truly called you to teaching, hang in there, do your best, and it'll all be okay. I had this epiphany last year: literally, no one can teach these students like you are teaching these students. You are where you are for a reason. You are who you are for a reason. Since God called you to it, He'll help you through it. I had a lot of self-doubt last year, but that thought reassured me. You may not see the impact you're making until your second or third year, but trust in His plan. Trust that you are making an impact and that no one could be making that exact impact but you!
Keep your head up. Good luck. I'm rooting for you.
Danielle(:
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