quick update :)

So the month of February has seriously been a blur! I'm definitely feeling graduation growing closer and closer finally. It's like, I've finally made it over the halfway hump and I've been picking up speed going down the hill that is senior year. I'm still looking forward to my future plans, but I know that God's got me right where He wants me. I'm feeling more and more secure in my college plans, as more stuff gets done and turned in. It's becoming official and OH MY WORD is that a relief!

But anyways, my life has been fulllllll to the brim with stuff after more stuff after more stuff. Like, I've done a lot of babysitting, coffee dates, friend hang-outs, call of duty playing, movie watching, youth group investing, school work, homework, church attending, bible study attending.... EVERYTHING! And I've enjoyed being busy, for the most part. But at times, it's been a little too much. Especially physically. I'm not really one to take care of my needs very well, I've figured out. And it's occurred to me before that I won't really have much to give if I'm not worth much at the moment (too-tired/worn out). So I think this past month I've had a valid lesson in.. just time management. But the thing is, at the same time, I know this is my calling. I'm made to serve with my whole heart in things. God didn't make me a half-way kind of person, He made me passionate & full & loving. This month He has blessed me more than I can even express. He's been my rest in times of need. My comfort. My strength. And when I'm not pouring that out... that's when I feel a different kind of worthless! I'm made to give of myself. We're all made to give of ourselves. But, for me and my personality type even more so. I feel so blessed with this gift I have of compassion for others. And in this past month alone, God has proved Himself over and over again through my gift. So I've really been struggling with finding the balance for me lately. It's been an exciting time lately though. I kind of like the struggle. Like, I feel like this is just another lesson. Another eye opener. God is trying to stretch me, and I LIKE IT! I love growing. I'm finally learning to appreciate this hard, heart-wrenching, slow burn of a year. Because God is growing me through it. It sucks sometimes. It hurts almost all the time. But I'm being used. And developed. And grown into who God wants me to be. It's so much more than me. It's God's plan for me. Like, I'm just loosing myself in Him. And I'm loving/hating/insert every human emotion here it.

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